Thursday Thanks and Truth

I’m thankful my family is not overtly racist to the point they would disown me for supporting the Black Lives Matter movement. The screenshot below was shared on social media. I feel sad for the person whose family reacted so harshly, and also proud of the person for handling it the way they did.

 Racist Family Text

The truth is that my family is guilty of more subtle implicit bias, myself included. Most of my relatives are passively non-confrontational about race, politics, and life in general. They are the kind of people who tend to laugh at racist jokes told by friends, and they assume by default that most white people are better than most black people. But they don’t consider themselves racist, bless their hearts.

I’m ashamed to admit that my own deeply ingrained racism reared its ugly head when I stopped at an ATM for cash a couple months ago. As I pulled into the parking lot I noticed a car with a black man inside and another black man using the ATM. I made eye contact and smiled but did not say hello as I waited for my turn. As he was leaving, the man said we should all be careful because cash money is dirty, full of germs, and an easy way to spread coronavirus. I nodded in agreement and smiled nervously but did not engage him in conversation. I cautiously walked to the ATM and positioned myself so that I could see the vehicle and the men out of the corner of my eye. I did not feel safe until they had driven away. It was broad daylight and we were in a parking lot in full view of a busy road yet I was anxious. I’m embarrassed and ashamed to admit it, but it’s the truth.

Growing up I lived on or near military bases and formed friendships with children of various skin tones and ethnicities. My parents never said a critical word about any of my friends until I became a teenager. My dad let me know I was not allowed to date any black boys. I could be friends with anyone, but no dating. He didn’t let me date heavy metal or punk rock boys either. My first serious boyfriend was a redneck. My parents seemed to like him at first, until they realized we were getting serious; then they worried about different potential complications.

In college one of my friends was a young black man, Willie. One year around Thanksgiving his girlfriend (future wife) and my boyfriend (future husband) traveled out of state to visit family so my mom and brother and I invited Willie to join us. Instead of having a traditional meal, we visited a Native American Pow-Wow in some small town in south Alabama. I don’t remember where exactly; it was 30 years ago. Anyway, people must have assumed we were dating because we got a lot of disapproving looks from strangers. We shrugged it off but that feeling of being judged stuck with me. My mom, to her credit, said it didn’t bother her one bit.

About 2 years later Willie was Harvey’s best man at our wedding. He and his girlfriend Leslyn were the only people of color in attendance. Everyone else was lily white. They never said they were uncomfortable, but I wonder how they truly felt surrounded by so many white people, mostly strangers.  

The first home Harvey and I bought was next door to an African American family. We got along well with our neighbors but didn’t socialize together much. When they invited us to go to church with them I said yes to be polite. Reid was very young so Harvey stayed home with him. About 5 hours later I returned home shell shocked. My family had never stayed at church longer than 2 hours at a time, not that I can remember. I needed a nap after 5 hours. Everyone at my neighbors’ church had been warm and gracious in welcoming me, but I felt weird being the only white person there. Being agnostic complicated the situation even more. That experience was one and done for me, not to be repeated.  

If you’re a white person and think you are not a racist, take a moment to recall how many times you’ve said something like…

 Racial Gaslighting Language

In the spirit of sharing softer news and/or silly vibes:

• James Corden rated Trump's royal performance visiting the UK.
• Michelle Obama did her best Barack impression for Stephen Colbert.
• SNL Family Feud Celebrity Edition: Team Clinton vs Team Trump.

Daily pandemic update:  

Russia's total number of infections across the country surged past the 440,000 mark, with the death toll also continuing to mount. At least two US senators accused China of hiding data from the World Health Organization that could have altered the course of the coronavirus outbreak, even as a Chinese official denied delays in sharing information, and said the government acted openly and transparently. Aljazeera.com timeline

4 June 2020	Cases		Deaths		Recovered
17:53 GMT*	Yesterday	Today	Yesterday	Today	Yesterday	Today
World	6,474,784	6,640,158	382,923	389,957	3,083,701	3,205,413
US	1,881,256	1,911,717	108,062	109,620	646,260	692,544
NY	381,912	383,770	30,078	30,244	67,274	68,660
CT	42,979	43,091	3,972	3,989	7,511	7,689
NC	30,022	32,074	961	1,006	18,860	18,860

A moment of silence for those we’ve lost to coronavirus, including the first 100 and the first 100,000 in the US.

As of today 14% of closed cases in the US resulted in death; 86% recovered.

Globally 11% of closed cases resulted in death worldwide; 89% recovered.

Currently 2% of all active cases are considered serious or critical.

*Documenting time of day because real time data updates continuously.
Tracking specific states:  NY is US epicenter. Son Reid lives in CT. I live in NC. 
Worldometers     Coronainusa     Starsexpress2020     https://ncov2019.live/

In the news: 

• All 4 former police officers involved in George Floyd’s murder now face criminal charges. Derek Chauvin’s criminal charges now include second degree murder; 3 other officers were charged with aiding and abetting.
• Bank of America pledged $1 billion dollars to community programs and small businesses to help address economic and racial inequality.
• Barack Obama spoke during televised town hall on policing and racism; urged young people of color to feel hopeful, thanked police who supported protests, and called for evidence based policing reforms.
• CDC is worried Americans aren’t following health advice because coronavirus cases continue to rise.  
• Conservative icon George Will urged November sweep to drive out Trump and all GOP enablers.
• Former presidents Obama, Bush, Clinton and Carter each shared public statements about the death of George Floyd.
• General James Mattis, former secretary of defense, denounced Trump for dividing the nation, and accused him of ordering US military to violate constitutional rights of American citizens. 
• General John Allen, former commander of American forces in Afghanistan, took his own turn at attacking Trump's response in a commentary published by Foreign Policy. 
• General Mark Milley, current chair of joint chiefs, issued a memo instructing troops to uphold the Constitution. Retired admiral and former chair of joint chiefs Mike Mullen also felt compelled to speak out against Trump’s use of force against protestors in DC. 
• Pope Francis condemned the death of George Floyd and called US unrest disturbing.
• RNC official party business is likely to take place in Charlotte NC though much of the convention, including Trump’s acceptance speech, will probably move to different state.  
• Secretary of Defense Mark Esper told reporters, "I do not support invoking the Insurrection Act" though he reversed a plan to send troops in DC to their home bases. 
• Senate approved PPP Paycheck Protection Program reform bill passed by House; still no action on next round of stimulus for working class and unemployed.
• Tense protest changed when 60 Fayetteville NC police knelt before demonstrators.
• Trump press secretary compared bizarre bible photo op to Churchill touring Blitz bomb damage.
• UK may accept 2.8 million from Hong Kong following China's adoption of strict security law. 
• Warner Bros is offering free digital platform rentals of the film Just Mercy during June to encourage systemic racism education.
• White evangelicals are split: some still support Trump while others reconsider.  

Following Kenny Beck’s lead to share a few signs of hope:

• 3 year old boy helped save neighbor trapped in windowless basement.
• 7 year old girl with epilepsy was surprised by photo of service dog in school yearbook.
• VT gym owner cycled for 12 hours to raise money in honor of black lives lost.

In my personal life…

Greg and I met with contractors from Structural Repair of the Triad and Carolina Basement Systems yesterday. Both were professional, wore a mask, and followed physical distancing guidelines. The first guy didn’t recommend any services at this time. The second guy shared his sales pitch by Zoom. After meeting with 3 contractors and reviewing all their recommendations, we’re leaning toward no crawl space encapsulation at this time. We might change our mind later but for now there is no urgent need. 

Between appointments we watched Johnny English, a spy comedy. It brought back a memory of a cruise Greg and I took when one of the spa staff said my name reminded her of a scene from Johnny English Reborn when Rowan Atkinson pronounced Susan as “Shoe-Shahn.” She laughed heartily as she repeated it several times. There are 3 films in the Johnny English series and I look forward to watching them all eventually. 

Tonya recommended Knives Out so I’ve added it to our movie list. Also considering catching up on the James Bond series since I haven’t seen several films in that franchise.

When we watched Lucy in the Sky earlier in the week, I commented that Natalie Portman’s astronaut character was nuts for cheating on her husband played by Dan Stevens. Greg responded that Jon Hamm is a good looking man so he might give me a pass in that situation, which I thought was funny. As if.

Later in the afternoon Reid and I chatted on the phone for about an hour. Always feel thankful after a check in with Reid. Also grateful for Reid's girlfriend Lauren and her family.  

We had bagels with cream cheese, salmon and red onion for breakfast. I ate carrots with humus and a piece of leftover grilled chicken for lunch. We had shrimp cocktail for an afternoon snack / early dinner followed by crème brulee Greg made earlier in the day. Later in the evening we snacked on cheese sticks, and I ate another left over piece of grilled chicken.  

My daily action for racial justice Thursday was to dig deeper into my own experiences with and feelings about racism.