After (Election Day) Math

 
I slept soundly Tuesday night, secure in the knowledge that no matter how each of my fellow Americans had voted, I had done all I could possibly have done in my community to support a fair and honest election process. When I woke up Wednesday morning I turned on the tv to find out where vote counts stood. Several states were too close to call including Alaska, Arizona, Georgia, North Carolina, Nevada, and Pennsylvania. Unfortunately both Florida and Ohio went for Trump which was disappointing. Worst and most surprising news of all: republicans still had control of the senate. Biden had a slight lead in the electoral college though so I remained calm and hopeful as votes continued to be counted. 
 
Greg woke up grumpy, disappointed and angry that Biden hadn’t won in a landslide. I tried to cheer him up by explaining how Biden had multiple paths to 270 electoral votes compared to Trump who had lower odds of winning this time. Greg remained frustrated and skeptical for the time being.
 
After an hour of tv news coverage I was ready to enjoy the day without wasting any more time or energy worrying about election results. Greg continued to check online, repeatedly refreshing his laptop screen every few minutes. Bless his heart.
 
Mid day I received a text message from the temp agency asking if I was available to help the Board of Elections staff with post election audit tasks. After discussing pros and cons with Greg I responded “yes” and asked when they needed me to come in. She said Thursday morning so I continued enjoying my day off. I typed up some blog notes and called son Reid to check in before taking a nap. Later Greg and I ate dinner together and watched a little tv, then went to bed early.
 
If you might be wondering why it takes so long for states to count ballots and certify results, I recommend you sit down with a hot cup of tea or coffee as you read the following…
 
Thursday morning I arrived at the BOE office to see a few other temps summoned to help close out election season. Each of us had been early voting leads and/or election day judges so we had enough knowledge and experience to be helpful with a variety of projects. Our first job was to pre-process roughly 1,500 provisional ballots by entering pertinent information into a database. Some of the ballot envelopes had been filled out incompletely with a cornucopia of small mistakes and missing information which complicated what should have been a straightforward task. To be clear, most of the judges had done everything right; there were only a few that could have been a wee bit better, neater, and easier to read. 
 
A few others worked on different projects along with BOE staffers. IT techs had their own close out checklists to complete. By Friday afternoon it looked like we were slightly ahead of schedule so the director gave some of the temps the weekend off.
 
Saturday Greg and I stopped by Myers Greenhouse to pick up a replacement rosemary plant for our herb garden. (The Salem variety I had planted in the spring did not live through the summer so I picked a healthy looking Arp this time.) Afterward we went grocery shopping together. Later in the day I typed up some blog notes between naps. Sunday I called to check in with my brother Randy, typed a few more notes, and napped a bit more. 
 
Monday morning I helped process write-in votes until it was discovered that some provisional ballots had not been pre-processed as previously thought. Several of us set about to double and triple check envelopes to be sure all were accounted for and entered into the database. Some of us worked late on that project while others worked even later on other tasks.
 
Tuesday I helped with a hand-to-eye ballot count audit for the purpose of verifying the accuracy of our DS200 voting machine tabulators. The State Board of Elections randomly selected 2 locations in Forsyth County (1 early voting site and 1 election day precinct) so there were 18 boxes of ballots for us to count by hand. 16 workers were divided into 4 groups of 4 sitting at tables with plexi dividers between us as a COVID precaution while everyone wore masks and gloves. Deputy director explained the process to us. Sealed boxes were carefully opened one at a time. IT tech oversaw web cameras and microphones so interested citizens could observe from home. Thankfully our only task was to count the number of votes for each presidential candidate; none of the down ballot races. As 1 person in each group called out the votes (Biden, Trump, etc.) another person in the group observed while 2 others kept tallies of the votes for each candidate. When any candidate received 5 votes, “tally” was called out so observers and tallyers could stay in sync more easily. With 4 groups in 1 room counting out loud simultaneously, it was a bit challenging to concentrate on a single count without being distracted by the other 3, though we managed alright. I can only imagine how we looked and sounded to observers watching and listening online. We began counting at 9am and finished by 10:30am, much faster than anticipated. Unfortunately our hand counts differed from the electronic counts by 6 votes so we took a quick break and regrouped to count again. This time we counted more slowly and paid closer attention to how neatly ovals were filled in by voters. If a voter was exceptionally sloppy or used check marks or an X to mark their ballot we flagged it with a post-it note for closer inspection. The second count was better, off by only 4 votes. It was determined that only 3 specific boxes needed to be counted a third time. After my group finished counting our box of ballots we took a late lunch break before resuming processing write-in votes. We learned later in the afternoon that the hand-to-eye count audit was a success with final hand counts matching electronic counts. Huzzah!
 
When the polls officially closed on election day, reports were run on each DS200 ballot tabulator which included a print out of all write-in votes cast that day. Election judges then transferred names to separate forms and tallied all the write-in votes to include with our end of day paperwork. However, this process did not capture write-in votes cast during the 17 day early voting period so we utilized a different process to record those votes. During early voting, every ballot containing a write-in was scanned and images were sorted by precinct. There are 101 precincts in Forsyth County so there were 101 PDFs to scroll through. Audit teams must include a mix of party affiliation (democrat, republican, unaffiliated, etc.) so workers were organized into teams of 3. My team was assigned 25 precincts which took 4 partial days to complete; 4 days of our lives we will never get back. I grumbled a bit while pre-processing provisional ballots though my frustration with low information voters and a few absent minded judges was minimal compared to the disdain I felt toward voters who wasted their votes with joke write-ins. I had no qualms counting legitimate write-in votes for potentially viable candidates in down ballot races. And I didn’t much mind counting conscientious objector votes for long shot presidential candidates like Mitt Romney and Bernie Sanders. Sure I wished more people in NC had voted for Biden than Trump, and wished the third party and write in votes had gone to Biden, but I understood and accepted that not everyone wanted simply to choose between Biden or Trump. However, the voters who wrote in Batman, Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck, Mark Cuban, Ric Flair (Woo!), John Wayne, John Doe, Jeff Bridges aka "The Dude", anyone else, friends or family members wasted their votes. They also wasted valuable time and tax dollars as paid workers were forced to record their ridiculous votes. Like failed stand-up comics, these a-holes were not at all funny. Complicating the task further, PDFs included absentee mail in votes which needed to be processed separately, though we didn’t realize that until after we had tallied several precincts. We carefully corrected those tally sheets before proceeding. Thursday morning when we thought we were finally done, we were then asked to highlight and index votes for specific candidates in competitive races, which we did, no problem.
 
Processing write-in votes was like peeling a rotten onion with each rancid layer revealing yet another underneath. It was definitely my least favorite task by far compared to all others. Still, I felt guilty for complaining because a different team had the unenviable task of processing payroll for 900+ election day workers. Large binders were filled with color coded forms. Pertinent information had to be entered into complicated spreadsheets. Some forms were missing which created delays. Processing instructions changed, complicating matters further. Eventually the deputy director took charge of the project and sorted out issues so the team could finally finish.
 
Another Thursday morning task involved provisional ballots cast by confused voters in incorrect precincts. Votes had to be transferred to proper ballots (163 different ballot styles in Forsyth County) so again we worked in teams of 3 to triple check ourselves for accuracy. The last provisional ballot was processed around noon so we were given a long lunch break before the 2pm board meeting began.
 
My team felt like three amigos working together on several projects. It truly was a pleasure working with them and others in the BOE office, despite long hours and pressure to meet deadlines. After lunch most of the temps went home though a few lingered in case we could be helpful during the board meeting. Initially we weren’t needed so some of us took a quick tour of the basement to see the old brick foundation of the original building. There was standing water in some areas due to heavy rains though boxes of documents were stored on higher shelves, dry and safe. Next project was a curbside voter audit, making sure all curbside voters were correctly noted in the database. Midway through this project we were interrupted and asked to return to the board room.
 
In an adjacent room, the deputy director ran mail in ballot envelopes through a machine to slice them open. It reminded me of a deli meat slicer except louder and faster. Inside the board room, a team of 3 removed ballots from envelopes and flattened them for scanning into a DS200 tabulator. White paper dust from the envelopes collected on the table and also on my clothes, making me look like a sloppy lab tech in a cocaine packaging facility. (No I've never seen cocaine up close; it's just the image that came to mind due to watching too many crime shows and movies.) There weren't a lot of ballots postmarked by November 3 and received by November 12, just a few hundred, so it didn't take long to complete that task. 
 
Back in the office we finished up the curbside project, as much of it as we could do, leaving a few for the director to research. 

After finishing all assigned tasks, I walked to my car with mixed emotions, glad to be done but also sad to be leaving. I would have liked to have continued working in the office longer if they needed me, indefinitely perhaps.

Tuesday Nov 3: Election Day

I woke up around 1:30am and couldn’t go back to sleep, anxious and worried about the day ahead. Arrived at the voting site around 5:45am. Placed the curbside voting signs where they needed to go, then walked inside to help Chris and Betty Jo. Chris didn’t know and couldn’t find passwords so I helped him boot up a laptop and voting machines while Betty Jo made coffee. As workers arrived they found things to do, last minute preparations.
 
Dozens of people were waiting in line to vote when the polls opened at 6:30am. There was a steady line until 8am, then sporadic the rest of the day. A few early bird voters may have waited 30 minutes or more to vote though most waited less than 15 minutes.
 
Eddie stood next to a table stocked with PPE near the entrance, ostensibly to distribute gloves and masks to voters though he mostly just stood there without saying much at first. Mid morning he repaired a broken voting booth so he more than earned his pay. He also proved useful sorting voters into lines based on their last names to facilitate efficient registration check in.
 
Betty Jo and Carol flipped through printed poll books at the registration table while Margaret and I sat at the nearby ballot distribution table. Each voter checked in with Betty Jo or Carol to verify their voter registration information and sign their Authorization to Vote (ATV) form, then I numbered the ATVs sequentially as Margaret distributed ballots. Either of us could have done the job alone but it was nice having a buddy at the table. Margaret was a librarian who seemed to appreciate my OCD inclinations more than most people. Bonus: she was a democrat.
 
Michael, a young democrat and aspiring financial planner, disinfected surfaces and helped escort voters to available voting booths as they opened up. Joe monitored the DS200 ballot scanner tabulator. During a break he told us about his friend who was “watching” a voting a site across town in east Winston, on high alert for voter fraud. Anthony, a retail store manager, handled curbside among other tasks. He never indicated his party affiliation, leading me to believe he’s probably a pretty good poker player.
 
Everyone got along well and covered for each other as we rotated breaks. Joe had bought ginormous tenderloin biscuits from Stratford BBQ in King for our breakfast. For lunch we had chicken salad croissants provided by Betty Jo, homemade vegetable soup made by Carol, and a variety of snacks contributed by others. For dinner Chris ordered 2 small pizzas from Papa John.   
 
When the polls closed at 7:30pm I helped Chris run reports from the DS200 while everyone else pitched in to organize paperwork or pack up equipment and extra supplies. Election day close out was slightly different compared to early voting though not difficult. We finished up around 8:30pm.
 
After driving home I flipped network news channels in search of early election results. Disappointed to see Florida was leaning toward Trump, Greg and I went to bed hoping for better news in the morning.
 

Sunday Nov 1: Rest for the Weary

Dave Chappelle in character as an addict: "Ya'll got any more of them days off?"

 
Saturday night as Greg and I ate dinner together, I felt mostly good. Tired but not exhausted. Glad early voting was finally over. Grateful to have a break before election day. Relieved Tim and Michelle had not called me back to the office to help with additional tasks. I had rehearsed in my mind to politely decline if they called, and it hurt my feelings only a little bit not to have been asked. Slept well thinking the past 17 days had been worth all the blood (paper cuts), sweat, and tears. Tried to prepare emotionally for the possibility Trump might win NC but did not allow myself to think he might take the electoral college again. I did not allow myself to even consider that possibility.
 
Sunday was a full day of rest with the added bonus of an extra hour of sleep due to turning our clocks back an hour to end daylight savings time. Internet service had not yet been restored after the storm so we were limited to watching antenna tv between naps. My brother Randy and I had planned to talk on the phone but neither of us remembered to call the other so we missed our opportunity. Greg’s sister Tonya wanted to chat but Greg and I were both groggy from naps so we postponed until the next day. We picked lettuce and spinach from the garden by lantern light in anticipation of overnight freezing temperatures. Slept through the night peacefully, more or less.
 
Monday began as another day of rest though feelings of anxiety slowly crept in. I worried about election day and what could happen afterward. When I told Tonya I might drive to Raleigh to join a pro-democracy gathering Saturday, she said she would like to see me but didn’t seem to understand why people planned to march. Greg understood completely but was unlikely to participate due to covid concerns.  
 
Around 4:30pm Monday I drove to the Tobaccoville Community Center to meet a new team of election workers as we set up our voting site for Tuesday.
 
Chief Judge Chris was tall and thin with a gentle and slightly high pitched voice. He reminded me of actor Matt Frewer (aka Max Headroom) though considerably younger. A certified physician assistant, Chris was intelligent and professional yet a wee bit disorganized. We both had attended training and received a booklet with detailed instructions and checklists though he didn’t refer to his until the end of the evening. He had never worked an election before yet felt comfortable volunteering to be a chief judge on perhaps the most important election day of our lives. His confidence bordered on arrogance, in my opinion, like a man refusing to use GPS directions because he’s sure he can figure out where he is going on his own. 

Betty Jo was an assistant judge with decades of previous election worker experience, most recently during the 2016 general election. As the other assistant judge I tried to make myself useful without stepping on her or Chris’ toes. Carol, Margaret, Anthony, Eddie, Joe and Michael rounded out our team. We were all white, and most were registered republican. I wondered who among them might be a democrat or unaffiliated but had no way of knowing for sure.
 
With 9 people pitching in, set up was relatively fast and painless. Some wanted to know what exactly we each would be doing the next day but Chris said we would finalize assignments in the morning, bless his heart.
 
I returned home a little before 7pm. Greg helped me prep curbside voting signs as I told him how set up had gone, mostly fine. We ate dinner together, watched tv, then went to bed early.
 
 

Saturday Oct 31: Beginning of the End

Saturday, October 31 was the final day of early voting, Halloween, and a full moon. I drove to work prepared for another day of operations without electrical power. When I noticed several lights on inside the building, my heart filled with joy and relief. Adam met me at the voting room, as excited as me to see the lights were on. While I powered on laptops and voting machines, Adam reset printers and cleared their queues. Then he gathered  battery backups, extra extension cords, generators, flash lights and lanterns to return to the BOE office down town.
 
As Lois and the other women arrived, we greeted each other warmly, giddy to have electricity again and to finally have made it to the end of our 17 day assignment. Even Mia seemed to be in a good mood. Fanetta brought fresh Krispy Kreme donuts to celebrate our last day working together.
 
At 8am sharp Priscilla cheerfully opened the front door and called out “the polls are now open!” No one was waiting but I clapped and cheered anyway. Jennifer was a no show (again) so I texted her a reminder. She overslept and arrived mid morning to join Brenda, Fanetta, Lois and me as registration assistants. Beverly wasn’t feeling well and called out sick so I asked Tammie to oversee the DS200 ballot scanner tabulator. Then I asked Mia and Tina to work curbside together, giving each other breaks as needed. We had been told to expect the last day to be busy but the first hour was dreadfully quiet. Around 9am voters slowly began to arrive. Voting activity was steady throughout the day, sometimes busy, though wait times did not exceed 15 minutes.
 
One man who had recently moved but didn’t have any ID with his new address was upset because his ballot was placed in a provisional envelope instead of scanned like the others. A woman from Guilford County was told she needed to vote there instead of Forsyth County and she understood, no problem. A man from Buncombe County took the news well too.
 
An observer who had gotten on Lois’ bad side during the first week of early voting offered amends by bringing Halloween candy. He gave individually wrapped mini chocolate bars directly to Lois, saying it was for the children who came with their parents to vote. 

Around 10am I placed an online order with Jersey Mike’s for lunch sandwiches, ordering extra to share with observers and the administrator on duty in the office. 
 
When one of our ballot printers ran out of toner, we adjusted seamlessly by pulling pre-printed paper ballots from our filing cabinets as Lois called the BOE IT team for assistance. No more toner cartridges were available, the last one had gone to Clemmons, so IT tech Clint improvised by connecting Jennifer’s laptop to our other ballot printer using the last available port on that machine. Then we moved Fanetta to my laptop (also connected to the functioning printer) while I floated around the room to relieve each worker for breaks. It was wonderful having enough workers available to fill all the positions so we could help each other and make adjustments as needed with minimal disruptions. If more workers had been available every day, the entire 17 day assignment could have been like this.
 
Around 1:30pm Tina was noticeably tired so I suggested she and Mia take a long break while I covered curbside for them. I didn’t specify how long. 30 minutes later I was still working curbside but didn’t mind because the weather was lovely and I was able to sit and relax a bit while voters marked their ballots inside their vehicles. After a full hour I stepped into the breakroom where Mia and Tina were engrossed in deep conversation. I took a deep breath to calm myself, apologized for interrupting them and asked them to please resume working. Bless their hearts.
 
At 3pm Priscilla stepped outside to announce “the polls are now closed!” As Lois and the other ladies continued assisting voters already in line, I walked downstairs to let Mia and Tina know that no new voters arriving late would be accommodated. Mia scowled at me disapprovingly. A family entered the parking lot at 3:03pm and attempted to walk upstairs to vote in person but I explained that the polls had closed at 3pm sharp and advised them to vote Tuesday. They were disappointed but not upset. An electioneer urged me to reconsider but I didn’t budge because I didn’t want to do anything that might jeopardize legally and properly cast votes.

 
Back upstairs I reviewed our last day checklist and began dividing tasks among the team: gathering left over supplies, packing up equipment, taking down signs, etc. The observers lingered until the ballots had been secured. Then one by one each worker said their goodbyes. When Howard stopped by to collect our keys and important papers, Lois and I rushed to finish up. Only when we were ready to leave at 5pm did we realize we had forgotten to lock up the filing cabinets. I texted Michelle to let her know and she replied no problem. Rudi was waiting for Lois in the parking lot, as he did every evening. I wanted to hug Lois goodbye but didn’t. Our farewell was awkward and bittersweet, at least for me.

Friday Oct 30: Letter to Mia

I drafted this letter to Mia in the wee hours between Thursday night and Friday morning, in hopes that putting my thoughts into words would be helpful and perhaps help me sleep a bit before returning to work. I considered giving the letter to Mia but did not. 

Mia,
 
Thank you for taking the time to share your perspective and insights with me Thursday. I truly wanted to give you my full attention, to listen with an open heart and mind, and to stay there as long as needed. I’m sorry that didn’t happen.
 
When we were interrupted to help curbside voters, I walked downstairs behind you because I wanted to share the responsibility with you 50/50 but you had already helped voters in both cars before I had even reached the bottom of the hill. Your speed and efficiency are impressive, as is your work ethic. I’ve never once thought you were lazy or inefficient or bad at your job in any way. My only concern as a lead has been having enough workers to cover every position on each shift, and not fully understanding your schedule or your personal circumstances.
 
When you and I worked downtown I sometimes noticed we worked different hours but I honestly did not think much about it or pass any judgments about it. I didn’t know you were a student or that you didn’t have a driver’s license. I figured your schedule and your personal life were your business, not mine, so I never asked you or discussed you with anyone else in the office.
 
When I signed up to be an election worker, I envisioned working half a day and going home. I had no idea how much work there would be to do, especially the first few days of early voting, and I had no interest whatsoever in being a lead. When Tim asked me to co-lead with Lois, it was because there were not enough experienced leads to cover all the voting sites. I would have said no if anyone else had been available and interested to fill that role.
 
Ideally I would liked to have met our team at least a day or two before early voting began so we could have gotten to know each other a bit before working together. I would liked to have given everyone their first choice work assignments, to have cross trained everyone to be able to do every task, and to have offered at least one 30 minute break to everyone every day. Of course I wanted to be a better lead than I turned out to be. For all my shortcomings and mistakes, I apologize to you and the entire team. If I could go back in time there are a lot of things I would do differently.
 
Most of all I feel bad that you and I are out of sync, and that you became our defacto curbside attendant without opportunities to rotate to other positions. Lois and I never intended for you or anyone else to be 100% responsible for curbside alone. When there have been enough workers available we’ve tried to arrange for 2 or more curbside attendants to work together and rotate breaks. When we have been short staffed sometimes curbside fell to only one person. Because you have been our strongest curbside attendant, Lois and I relied too heavily on you to carry that burden. For that I apologize to you, sincerely.
 
I also apologize for our conversation ending abruptly yesterday. I was tired after working the early shift and began to shut down emotionally when you circled back to the 19th amendment for the second time referencing how white suffragettes treated black women poorly to protect themselves and advance their own goals. Equity and fairness were my intentions, so I deeply regret that I appeared to have favored some women more than others, and that my actions contributed to your unhappiness. 
 
After the murders of Breonna Taylor and George Floyd and others, I read books to educate myself about racism, anti-racism, and implicit bias. I’ve thought of myself as an apprentice level ally to black and brown people but clearly I have a lot more to learn and practice.
 
As I mentioned to you yesterday, I honestly did not fully understand your schedule, your other responsibilities, or your transportation situation. Also, I did not know soon enough that you, Latoya and others were so unhappy at work. I wish I had been perceptive enough to realize, and wish I had reached out to each of you to calmly listen and work through the challenges of this temporary assignment.
 
Even though my words may not align with all my actions as a lead, please know that I sincerely value each and every person on our team. I’ve gotten to know the women who work early shift inside the voting room a little better than I know the women who work the later shift or who work curbside. I wish we all could have bonded and worked together more. I wish I had been a more empathetic and supportive and flexible lead rather than a task master. This was my first time working a general election. The experience overwhelmed me. You and the rest of our team deserved much better.
 
I hope the last 2 days of early voting are much better for all of us than the first 2 weeks have been. Even though I don’t know you well, I recognize that you are a hard worker, intelligent, and highly competent. Despite my failings as a lead, I trust you will continue to be politically engaged and successful in your future endeavors. I wish you the best and have only positive thoughts toward you; no hard feelings.
 
Suz

Thursday Oct 29: Powerless

As tropical storm Zeta quickly passed through our area Thursday morning, Forsyth County was hit harder than any other county in NC. Nearly half a million homes and businesses lost power throughout the state including more than 50,000 here in the Winston Salem area. We knew the storm was coming so we had time to prepare at the voting site. IT tech Clint arrived mid morning to take the canopy down before it became a hazard due to strong winds. He said generators would likely be utilized if any site lost power, and he recommended I check with the BOE office downtown to ask about emergency protocols. While I was on the phone with a BOE staff member, the deputy director sent an email to all leads with blank Authorization To Vote (ATV) forms for us to print ASAP while our equipment still worked. I quickly printed 200 thinking we wouldn’t need that many but wanting to have extra just in case.
 
Greg texted to let me know we lost power at home around 10:30am. An hour later we lost power at the voting site. No electricity meant we couldn't print anything though our laptop computers and small gadgets continued to work on battery power. The DS200 ballot tabulator also continued working for a few more hours; afterward we placed ballots in an emergency vault to be scanned later. We raised all the window blinds to let in more natural light, and we allowed voters to use their cell phone lights for extra illumination. I texted Lois to ask if she could bring flashlights when she arrived for her afternoon shift. She didn’t get the message though. Unfortunately she had spent the morning at a funeral home with her family mourning the loss of her husband’s sister.
 
I texted the deputy director to let her know our power was out but that we were ok, that voters were able to vote safely, no worries. When Lois arrived I explained our emergency plan and protocols to the ladies working 2nd shift. Then I waited in the break room for Mia.
 
Mia had asked to speak with me and I was determined to make time for her. I knew she was unhappy so I prepared myself for her to vent her frustrations without interruption. She began around 1:45pm with broad philosophical pronouncements about leadership styles and spirituality before transitioning to slavery, white people treating black people like property, and the 19th amendment -- specifically how white women historically disrespected black women in order to protect themselves and their own interests. I nodded in agreement; did not argue with her about historical facts. Mia meandered a bit but I tried to give her all the time she needed to make her points. We were interrupted about 30 minutes in when 2 curbside voters needed assistance. I had intended to walk downstairs with Mia to help but she moved much faster than me and had already spoken with both voters before I had made it half way down the steps so I returned to the break room to wait for her. I had been up since 6am without a break. My energy level and attention span were fading fast. I called Greg to let him know I would be later than expected.
 
When we finally resumed our conversation, Mia picked up where she had left off. At one point I clumsily shared with her that I recognized my white privilege and I apologized for my shortcomings as a lead. She responded that she had observed me but not judged me, which triggered me a bit because I had felt her judgment daily like pin pricks in my tender skin. She said working the early voting temporary assignment had led her to wonder what she needed to learn from the experience, and what I needed to learn from it. She also said she didn’t see race, which struck me as odd because one of her complaints about me was that I favored white workers over black workers. “I don’t see race” is something Stephen Colbert used to say in character as a conservative buffoon on his Colbert Report tv show. Hearing a 20 year old black woman say it was surreal.
 
After reading books by Ibram X. Kendi about racism and implicit bias I committed myself to become an anti-racist ally of black and brown people. I truly wanted to hear Mia with an open heart and an open mind and to be unconditionally supportive of her. Yet the more she talked, the more weary I became. When she repeated herself about the 19th amendment without adding anything new, I felt I was listening to a broken record, scratched vinyl skipping to echo the same words over and over again. This was no longer a productive conversation.
 
Suddenly I remembered having similar conversations with Reid when he was a teenager, long meandering philosophical contemplations and debates about various topics. Then a realization hit me like a pie in the face: Mia is 20 years old. She is working a 17 day temporary assignment and she is disgruntled because she perceives she has been slighted, treated unfairly compared to other workers. She has been frustrated because Lois and I asked her to work curbside. We did so because she is young and fit, able to climb the steps faster and easier than the rest of the team who are older and heavier with a variety of health issues. Mia is also upset with me specifically because I hadn't taken time to check in with her and others more, to ask people how they felt and what tasks they actually WANTED to do, and because she felt micro managed. All true. As a lead I had been frustrated with her because she had missed scheduled shifts, come in late several times, and fudged her timesheet. I had asked her to do specific tasks, given her instructions how to do those tasks, and clarified expectations like asking her to use an umbrella to keep ballots dry in the rain. I wish I could have made the job more enjoyable and less of a chore, truly. But in 2 more days early voting would end and we would go our separate ways. As much as I wished Mia and I could resolve our conflict, I was doubtful we could accomplish that feat in the next 2 days, much less 2 more hours of conversation in the break room. Sadly, my amateur attempt to be anti-racist in that moment failed.
 
The realization of my faults and failures led me to wave a metaphorical white flag of defeat. I was ready to bring the conversation to an end so I could go home and get some rest, lick my wounds in private before trying again the following day. In closing I asked Mia if she was able to work Friday and Saturday, and what hours specifically she could work. After she responded I thanked her and walked out to my car. It was 3pm.
 
I called Greg to ask if he had eaten or needed anything. The power was still out at home so he didn’t want to open the refrigerator. I offered to pick up a meal from a restaurant if he would call in an order. His favorite Japanese restaurant in Winston Salem was closed due to the power outage but our favorite Thai restaurant in King was open so I drove in that direction. Every traffic light along my route was out. Alarge tree had fallen across Tobaccoville Road blocking my route to King so I pulled over, called Greg, turned around and drove home. He used a generator to warm soup in the microwave for me. Afterward I took a nap in the bedroom.
 
Around 6:30pm he woke me up to let me know I had missed calls and texts from Lois and the BOE. Apparently my text message that we were ok was interpreted as the power had come back on so no one downtown realized we still had no power at the Mazie Woodruff campus. We were the only voting site in the county, perhaps the state, to endure a prolonged power outage. BOE leadership scrambled to help Lois and the afternoon team keep the polls open until 7:30pm. They brought flashlights and lanterns and battery backups and extra ballots and ATV forms. Disaster was averted. After speaking with the deputy director and exchanging a few texts with Lois I eventually went back to sleep but woke up a few hours later feeling anxious. To calm my nerves I wrote a letter to Mia, an attempted peace offering. Writing the letter helped me feel a little better but I doubted it would be well received by Mia so I decided not to share it with her. 
 
Friday morning we still had no power at home. I washed my face with cold water, brushed my teeth, and dressed by lantern light. Then I drove cautiously to work, grateful to see functioning traffic lights from the Reynolda-Shattalon intersection all the way to Motor Road within a few blocks of the Mazie Woodruff campus. Power was still out in the surrounding neighborhood so the security guard sat in his truck in the parking lot waiting for me to arrive, then walked with me inside the building to the voting room, our path lighted by a camping lantern I had brought from home. BOE IT lead Adam was on the other side of the building waiting for us with fresh battery packs and fully charged equipment. He quickly and expertly readied the room. The polls opened as scheduled.
 
Mid morning Adam and Tim returned with generators to power laptops and the DS200 ballot scanner tabulator. We didn’t have enough power to use the printers so we continued hand writing information on pre-printed ATV forms. Facility maintenance techs supplied a separate generator for additional lighting inside the voting room.
 
While Lois attended the funeral of her husband’s sister I worked a double shift Friday, 7am to 8pm. Operations were mostly smooth and everyone seemed to manage well, except for Mia. She refused to come inside when temperatures dropped and refused to use a flashlight for safety after sunset. She continued to help curbside voters but avoided me as much as she could. I tried to be extra nice, supportive and gentle with her but that seemed to irritate her more so I backed off to give her space to be angry with me. Those who noticed her behavior chalked it up to her being young and stubborn.
 
Nearly 200 voters were accommodated Friday. It felt good knowing we didn’t close the polls early despite the prolonged power outage. And I was inspired by the people from nearby neighborhoods coming in to vote while power was still out in their homes.
 
Greg said power had been restored at our home earlier in the day, had gone off again for a few hours, then come back on. Internet remained offline.
 

Oct 28: Weird Wednesday

 
Wednesday was better than Monday, but weird in its own way. 
 
A young woman in her 20s made a mistake on her ballot and asked for a fresh ballot. Following protocol I wrote “spoil” on her first ballot to void it. When I stepped away to pull another ballot out of a file cabinet for her, she grabbed the spoiled ballot off my desk. I asked for it back, letting her know I needed to transfer the ballot ID number from the first ballot to the second. She said she wanted to keep the first ballot to copy her voting decisions to save time. I said ok but I still needed the spoiled ballot back when she was done; it couldn’t leave the room. She seemed bothered by this but agreed. When the woman finished voting she gave her spoiled ballot to Brenda instead of me. I noticed but didn’t think much of it. Then as the voter left the room, she asked for my name. A few minutes later an electioneer from outside knocked on our door and asked to speak with me. I walked outside where he relayed to me a dramatically embellished version of the above. The voter felt I had disrespected her and tried to intimidate her, and the electioneer was there to report the complaint. I thanked him and attempted to explain what had happened from my perspective but he was so upset about the voter’s complaint that he didn’t seem to hear or believe what I told him. An observer interjected to say he had witnessed what had happened inside the room and that I had been respectful to the voter. The observer was republican, not hostile in any way, but wearing a name tag identifying himself as republican. The electioneer was a democrat. Rather than listen to the republican observer or me, the democratic electioneer stormed off in a huff. After a brief cooling off period I walked outside to follow up with the electioneer, to try to make peace with him. I again told him I was sorry the voter was upset and that I was not trying to intimidate her. I still don’t think he believed me.
 
A little while later a uniformed police officer and a security guard came to the voting room and asked to speak with the lead. I walked out into the hallway to meet them, a bit nervous. They informed me of an incident outside involving a dispute between electioneers. Several moderate democrats had been passing out voting brochures every day since early voting began. A new person, a younger more progressive black man arrived today sharing information about racial justice, income inequality and reparations. The moderates felt the progressive was being too pushy and they wanted him to leave. When the new guy refused to leave, a white male electioneer (the same one I had spoken with earlier) had called the police. Because of the racial dynamics involved, the white officers didn’t want to risk escalating the situation by their mere presence so they asked me if as a BOE employee I would be willing to speak with the electioneers. Having completed conflict resolution and de-escalation training years earlier, I agreed to try. We walked outside and the officers stood back away from the fray while I walked toward it. The young black man was using his cell phone to film the tense situation as multiple electioneers yelled and talked over one another like rowdy guests on an episode of Jerry Springer. I calmly and politely introduced myself to the group and utilized active listening skills to gather more information about the dispute, asking them to please allow each person to answer individually one at a time so I could hear them better. Slowly tensions eased and we worked out a compromise so that the new guy could continue electioneering in the general area following the same protocols as everyone else (no blocking the sidewalk, no stalking voters, no hard sell tactics, etc.). After everyone had calmed down and agreed to peacefully coexist I thanked everyone for their cooperation and began walking back toward the voting room. The new guy put his cell phone away, stopped filming, and told me he had been scared because the white guy had called the police. I told him I understood, that I had spoken with the police, and that they were sensitive to his concerns which is why they stayed back instead of responding directly. New guy said he really appreciated that and asked me to thank the officers for him, which I did.
 
Later I was helping a curbside voter when she told me she almost didn’t vote because she didn’t like people hanging around the voting site watching her. Specifically she was concerned about someone sitting in a car parked behind the curbside area. There were several cars in the parking lot and I didn’t see anyone lurking but I told her I would investigate, and that I wouldn’t allow anyone to bother her. After she finished voting and drove away, I walked around the parking lot and saw someone sitting in a parked car as she had described. A young white woman in her mid 20s wearing an Elon sweatshirt was slumped down in the driver’s seat of a small sedan. I honestly would not have noticed her if I had not looked closely at all the parked cars. Her car window was down about an inch for airflow so I walked toward her and introduced myself. She rolled her window down further so we could talk. She said she was a law student working as a curbside observer. I let her know the voter felt intimidated due to being watched while she voted and I asked if she would consider moving her vehicle to a different location in the parking lot in order to avoid making other voters uncomfortable. She said she would call her boss about it but she never moved her car. Other things distracted me from following up so I didn't have a chance to call BOE headquarters until after my shift had ended. Tim said people not on the official vetted list of observers were prohibited and he asked me to call him immediately if it happened again.
  

Tuesday Oct 27: Trudging Along

There was no drama at the polls Tuesday though a few Trump supporters attending a rally in Omaha, Nebraska experienced freezing temperatures as they waited for buses when the event ended. Oregon Trail memes were plentiful on Twitter Wednesday. 

Voter activity picked up a bit as we headed into the final days of early voting. Noticed an uptick of white Trump voters, maybe a dozen or so during my shift. A pack of 4 white men walked in together. One wore a Trump 2020 mask and camo pants. Another wore a Trump t-shirt and MAGA hat. Their mere presence may have felt intimidating to some voters though the men appeared to be harmless, didn’t bother anyone.
 
I silently judged Trump voters, pitied them for their ignorance and unwavering loyalty to their dear leader. I passed judgment on some of the dem voters too, the ones who didn't bother to vote all the way down ballot, the ones who wore a mask with their noses hanging out, and the ones who reeked of cigarette smoke.
 
Received an email from the Tobaccoville chief judge about set up Monday for election day Tuesday. 9 people were scheduled to work though I didn’t recognize any of their names. Chris, the chief judge, said he thought set up would take only an hour. That location was also an early voting site so theoretically we only needed to make a few adjustments, like switching from registration laptops to printed poll books. 
 
When I was working in the BOE office last month I asked an election day recruiter, Stuart, if I could be assigned to a precinct with more dem voters. I told him I would be willing to drive anywhere in the county. Stuart said it would help him if I worked in Tobaccoville because it was difficult to recruit people willing to drive out to the NW edge of the county. The real challenge for Stuart was making sure every precinct had a balanced mix of workers, some democrats and some republicans. Most people prefer to work near where they live so they don’t have to drive far. It was apparently difficult to recruit dems and independents to work in solid red precincts. As an unaffiliated voter, I was like a type O universal blood donor. Non partisan independents were needed everywhere.
 
Felt a bit tired Tuesday but slightly less depressed. Voter activity was steady yet slow enough we had time to move the canopy closer to curbside in preparation for rain Wednesday. Fork IT John. 
 

Photo of canopy near curbside voting area with hillside and stairs visible in background 

Monday Oct 26: Hold My Beer

 
Monday October 26 I woke up tired and depressed. Didn’t want to go to work. Wished I could have closed my eyes and slept for days. Washed my face and brushed my teeth but skipped breakfast so I wouldn’t be late. Drove to work in silence, no music on the radio, so I could think without distractions. If I quit then Lois would probably quit too, which might result in our voting site being closed, which would inconvenience voters and potentially suppress votes. If I didn’t quit then I would have to endure 7 more days of workers not showing up for their scheduled shifts and low information voters not understanding how districts and precincts and wards result in different down ballot options.
 
The facility director’s car wasn’t in the parking lot so I prepared myself to search for security staff to unlock the voting room. I was pleasantly surprised to notice a different security guard standing near the front door. We greeted each other warmly, introduced ourselves, and thanked each other for being there. That was the best moment of the entire day.
 
Only 2 other women showed up to work, Brenda and Tammy. Tina called out sick due to a migraine. Miss Woods was a no show after calling out sick Sunday. Jennifer said she would be late but didn’t come in at all. Mia arrived late around 9:30am (closer to 9:45am) so I handled curbside until she arrived. On a busy day, 6 to 8 workers per shift was ideal though we learned to manage with less. 3 workers was a record low, a new challenge.
 
The first curbside voter was a white man with COPD which reminded me of my mom who died 5 years ago. As I scanned his ballot I noticed he voted for Trump. Dammit.
 
A woman absentmindedly placed her blank ballot in the scanner despite instructions from Brenda and a sign on the machine alerting voters to mark and review their ballots carefully before scanning. We canceled her first vote and gave her a provisional second chance. 
 
Another woman completed her ballot with check marks instead of filling in ovals then chastised us for not telling her to fill in the ovals despite Brenda having told her to fill in the ovals. The woman also overlooked the sample drawing of a filled in oval on her ballot and did not see the sign with instructions posted next to her. We spoiled her first ballot and gave her a second chance. 
 
Then an older white man dressed exceptionally well came in to cast his vote for Trump. Dammit again.
 
While Mia assisted a curbside voter behind the building, I assisted 3 curbside voters parked in front because they hadn't seen the signs directing them where to park. They all voted for Biden - yay! Meanwhile Kamala Harris’ husband, Doug Emhoff, was in town and happened to stop by the voting site while I was outside so I caught a glimpse of him from a distance.
 
Back in the voting room a white family came in with their toddler and they voted for Trump. Bless their hearts. 
 
Later an older man wearing bib overalls came in to vote. He reminded me of my grandfather, a farmer and a staunch Harry Truman democrat. I held my breath looking down at his ballot as he slid it into the DS200 tabulator. YES - he voted for Biden! For a few moments my faith in white voters was temporarily restored.
 
A black couple came in to vote next. Brenda assisted the wife while I helped the husband. He had not voted in a long time so his name had been dropped from the roll of registered voters. I advised him he could re-register on site and asked for ID to verify his address. He said he didn’t have any ID with his current address on it; not a driver’s license or a bill or anything else, absolutely nothing. I advised him he could vote a provisional ballot that would be placed in an envelope and reviewed by the Board of Elections since he didn’t have ID. He didn’t like that. He wanted to vote the same as his wife. I apologized to him and again explained his options. He reluctantly agreed to cast a provisional vote. I gave him a ballot and asked him to return it to me when he finished. His wife walked over to assist him and when he was done, she instinctively placed his provisional ballot in the ballot scanner like she had done with her own ballot. I dropped my head and let out a sigh of disbelief. I reminded them the provisional ballot was supposed to be placed in a special envelope, not scanned. They reacted defensively and left unhappy. 
 
A voter suppression watchdog working outside heard them talking about their less than smooth experience so she came inside to investigate. I explained what happened and she criticized me for not handling the situation better. I bit my lip to keep from crying, apologized and tried to explain. She looked down at me with contempt, criticized me further, then turned and walked back outside. Several women gathered around me in support. I told Lois I was ready to go home and not come back. She said she would quit if I did, and she asked me to reconsider. Brenda passed me a post-it note of encouragement, asking me to stay for her. A young black female voter who had witnessed the exchange told me not to feel bad, and not to quit. I paused to think about the 3,500+ voters we had helped and the hundreds more I hoped would vote by the end of the week. I wanted to go home because I felt tired and hopeless but I decided not to quit for them, and for Brenda and Lois and the other workers. I told them I needed to go home and get some rest and I assured them I would return tomorrow. I promised. 
 
After linner with Greg I took a long nap. Someone from the BOE called around 8pm; I didn’t answer and they didn’t leave a message. Lois texted around 8:30pm, still working on the closing checklist. We were both tired and frustrated but we promised each other we would finish together. Each remaining day I told myself this is the last Monday (Tuesday, Wednesday, etc.) I will ever have to work early voting ever again. Ever. EVER. I wish I could have done it with grace and class but apparently I couldn’t. I lowered my expectations from wanting to do a great job to just wanting to make it through Saturday. Then I could sleep Sunday. Then I could meet the team at the Tobaccoville Community Center to set up Monday evening for election day Tuesday. 
 
I worried election day would likely be worse than every early voting day combined. It was sure to be an excruciatingly long day (6am until at least 8pm, likely longer). The majority of voters in that precinct were registered republicans and that weighed heavy on me. Also, the chief judge had never worked an election so the assistant judges (me and another lead I had not met yet) would have to work extra hard to help him. The best thing about my early voting assignment was that 99% of the voters were black. When a white person walked in, odds were 50/50 how they would vote. However, black voters consistently voted for democrats roughly 98% of the time. Didn’t see a single person write in Kanye West for president, not one. A Biden victory would be because of black voters, black women specifically, some white women, and other non-white voting blocs. I was hopeful Biden would win but not confident. Didn’t want to jinx him.
 
I apologized to my women friends for being so whiny and for sharing so much negativity in my email updates. I didn’t want pity or polite atta-girl comments, though I craved positive energy. I asked them to please keep thinking positive thoughts, lighting candles, saying prayers; all the things they had been doing. I told them I would try to stop being an emotional vampire when voting ended.

Sunday Oct 25: Souls to the Polls

 
Sunday October 25 there were 3 Souls to the Polls events scheduled at voting sites in Forsyth County, including the Mazie Woodruff Center where I worked. The events were organized to get out the vote in predominantly black communities. I was advised by Tim to staff up and be prepared for a busy day with lots of voters.

Sunday was a short work day; noon set up with polls open 1pm-5pm plus 30 minutes for the close out checklist. The Souls to the Polls event crew set up in front of the building as I arrived so I stopped by for quick introductions. They insisted on giving a chicken dinner to every worker and I thanked them.
 
Rain was forecast so I had requested a canopy from the BOE to help keep curbside workers and paperwork dry. A canopy had indeed been delivered Saturday afternoon, safely cocooned in its compact carrying case. Sunday it was still sitting in the corner of the voting room, taunting me. As I booted up computers and voting machines, the phone rang. It was Tim asking if the canopy had been delivered. I told him yes, but that it was not set up. He said he would send someone to set it up and I thanked him. About 45 minutes later 2 IT techs showed up, Clint and John. I thanked them profusely and asked them to please set up the canopy in the grass next to the parking spaces reserved for curbside voting. A few minutes later I looked out the window to see them erecting the canopy on the hill next to the steps, rendering it useless. I quickly ran outside to clarify the best location for the canopy but John interrupted me to mansplain why the canopy was being set up on the hillside. I tried to appeal to him with rational logic but he interrupted again, ending the conversation with “Tim said so.” My blood pressure spiked and I quickly called the BOE office to speak with Tim but he did not answer, perhaps because John speed dialed him first. It took every ounce of self control I could muster not to curse or cause a scene. Defeated and frustrated, I returned to the voting room.
 
Tina said she had a migraine but offered to work curbside until Mia arrived, then left early. To keep ballots dry, I asked them to keep their clipboards in a large plastic bag and to use my golf umbrella for extra protection. They insisted they didn’t need the umbrella as they placed clipboards inside their rain jackets. When a ballot got wet we let it air dry before running it through the scanner. Curbside activity was slow so Mia spent much of the afternoon standing under the canopy on the hillside. I floated the idea of moving the canopy to level ground so she could sit down in my folding beach chair but she said she preferred to stand on the hillside. I thought she was behaving like a defiant, stubborn mountain goat but resisted arguing with her. Whatever. Mid afternoon Tim and Clint showed up to move the canopy. I thanked them for offering and told them Mia liked it where it was so no need to bother. Tim said he agreed with me it made more sense to put the canopy next to the curbside parking spaces. As much as I appreciated his attempt to salvage the situation, I felt it more important to appease Mia at that moment. Tim likely didn’t understand and I didn’t bother trying to explain. I didn’t care about the canopy anymore, or the rain, or much of anything. I just wanted the polls to close so I could go home. And I wanted Mia not to hate me.  
 
Mia and I met downtown in the BOE office a few weeks earlier, both hired to help with data entry. After brief introductions we rarely spoke though I liked her as a co-worker; had no reason not to. She was quiet (unlike Karen) and stayed busy like me. When I learned Mia would be working with me during early voting, I was thrilled. I considered her a familiar face, so to speak, even though I had no idea what her face looked like under her mask. Unfortunately our cordial and socially distanced office relationship soured during early voting. Mia started off energetic, our curbside MVP. She didn’t complain though I could tell her enthusiasm and energy had diminished. That was true for all of us.
 
In the hustle and bustle of the first few chaotic days, I surely offended some with terse instructions. I tried to be polite and respectful, said please and thank you, yet I could have been gentler, kinder, warmer. I had every intention of being a compassionate and caring lead. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, right? Within minutes of meeting the team Lois and I quickly determined staff assignments so everyone could begin working and open the polls on time. There wasn’t time for ice breakers, team building, or 360 degree feedback. The first day was a war zone, like MASH triage. There was chaos, then a semblance of order, followed by adjustments, and eventually a rhythm developed. Some of us bonded but not everyone. Mia and I definitely did not.
 
I wanted to tell Mia how much I admired her for working so hard while also a college student, how I did the same when I was younger. I wanted to listen to her and others more, and to talk less. I wanted to be a better lead so every woman on the team felt supported and respected and appreciated instead of tired like I felt. 

 
 
In preparation for Sunday’s event, Tim had instructed us to schedule all available staff to avoid unnecessary wait times for voters. Lois and her afternoon team had worked Saturday so none of them wanted to work Sunday too, including Lois. My skeleton crew managed well under the circumstances. Unfortunately the weather dampened voter turnout; only 74 ballots were cast. The rain and lack of voters was more than a bit depressing. The music was nice though. I had expected gospel but was pleasantly surprised to hear a mix of popular songs by black artists from the 60s and 70s.
 
Because of the canopy debacle and low voter turnout, Sunday was disappointing. I went home thinking the next day had to be better, couldn’t possibly be worse. Of course I was wrong. Bless my heart.

First week summary

 
Sunday October 18 had been a short work day and enough workers showed up to fill most positions, including a younger person for curbside duty. Voter activity was light compared to the first 3 days of early voting. Sunday night Greg and I ate dinner together and watched tv. I was tired but not exhausted so it felt almost like a normal Sunday night.
 
Monday morning the facility director met me to sign out keys. She had been on vacation the week before. Friendly, professional and organized – she was a noticeable and welcome change from the security staff who had been hard to find some mornings. By 8am enough workers had shown up to open and function; not everyone scheduled but enough. Voter activity was again light, making time drag a bit. Lois and I were both tired and got on each others’ nerves somewhat.
 
We shared an L-shaped work area and sometimes bumped into each other, both physically and administratively. I tried to keep my side neat and organized but her side stayed messy with a chaotic array of papers, paper clips, pens and post-it notes cluttering the neutral zone between us, repeatedly encroaching into my space. No matter how many times I sorted and straightened, the clutter returned. At one point we were so annoyed with each other that I took a long break to avoid saying something I would surely regret. I sat in my car to calm down and reset. Seriously considered driving home and/or quitting but didn’t. I moved my car to a quiet area of the parking lot, reclined my seat to be more relaxed, and contemplated how to make the best of our situation.
 
Lois was sugar sweet when I came back into the voting room 2 hours later. We discussed a few options and ultimately decided to split up the long day, divide and conquer, to avoid burning out. Neither of us wanted to continue working 13 hour days. Lois isn’t a morning person and wasn't yet comfortable with computers or end of day reporting so I offered to take the morning shift to start up all the equipment and manage the morning crew, take a long break after she arrived, then return to help her close out until she felt confident she could close out alone.
 
From home to the voting site is a 20 minute drive for me, one way. Splitting my day into 2 shifts meant twice as much time wasted driving, but I convinced myself it would be worth it to spend a little more time with Greg, to eat a meal together, and to take a short nap before returning to help Lois.
 
About an hour after our detente, Lois burst into tears when she received a call from her husband with news that his sister had died. I attempted to comfort her and told her to take as much time as she needed. The team echoed their support for her. I notified the BOE and prepared myself for the possibility of becoming a solo lead without Lois or anyone else to help. Monday night, without Lois in the room, I completed the end of shift checklist and reconciliation report in 30 minutes, less than half the time it took working with Lois by my side. Being a solo lead might have some advantages after all, I thought. 
 
Tuesday morning I texted Lois to check in on her, and to let her know all was well at the voting site, no worries. She did not text back. Actually, all was not well. I lied so Lois wouldn’t worry or return to work too soon. One of the workers quit Tuesday morning because she didn’t want to do curbside anymore, even though curbside was only 2 hours of her 7 hour shift. Another worker called out sick. The remaining workers and I adjusted to cover for each other as needed. We were less than a skeleton crew but voter activity was light so we managed. Around 1pm Lois arrived to work. She appeared agitated, which was noticed by several workers. I approached her cautiously, expressed condolences for the loss of her sister in law, and encouraged her to take the day off, the entire week if she needed it. She said she was at work because her husband, Rudi, needed time alone to grieve without her in the house. After spending several long days with Lois, I think I understood how Rudi felt. After a brief period of transition between morning team and afternoon team, I told Lois I was going home for a long break as we had agreed, and that I would return to help her with end of day tasks.
 
At home Tuesday afternoon Greg and I ate linner together (late lunch / early dinner), then I took a 2 hour nap before driving back across town to help Lois. We finished our close out checklist in 45 minutes, just 5 minutes longer than my 40 minute round trip driving time.  
 
Wednesday and Thursday were much the same, except the facility director wasn’t there to greet me Thursday morning. I noticed a police car in the parking lot and parked next to it. Also saw 2 men in the shadows (before sunrise) so I quickly sprinted into the building. Couldn’t find security staff on duty. Calling the emergency phone number and pressing the emergency call button did not help so I called 911. When the dispatcher answered I told her there was no emergency, that I was an election worker and needed assistance from the police officer on site to enter the locked voting room. She put me on hold for a moment, then told me there was no police officer on site. I assured her there was, that I had parked next to a patrol car, and I offered to walk back to the car to note the vehicle tag number for her. As I walked out of the building, the 2 men walked toward me: 1 uniformed police officer and 1 security guard in a polo shirt. They chastised me for not greeting them outside when I arrived. I wanted to scream that they should have met me inside the well lit building but I restrained myself, ended my call with the 911 dispatcher, and politely apologized for inconveniencing them. Friday morning I carried pepper spray with me, as a personal safety precaution and to help myself feel a wee bit less vulnerable.
 
We were short staffed Friday, more so than usual since 2 workers didn’t show up; 1 expected and 1 unexpected. It was a light day so I took my long afternoon break anyway. I told Lois to call me if she needed help before close out. I fell asleep for a nap at 3:30pm. She texted and called at 4pm. Bless her heart.
 
When Greg annoys me, which isn’t often, I sometimes call him Gregory. If I call him Lois next time, he will know precisely how much he is bothering me.
 
Weekend shifts are shorter and typically lighter than weekdays so Lois and I agreed to give each other a day off, sort of. Lois worked Saturday while I was mostly off, and I worked Sunday while she was totally off. She asked for help with the opening checklist Saturday so I drove across town to assist her. Two scheduled workers did not show up, including a curbside attendant. Lois and the rest of the team assured me they could handle it without me so I drove home with mixed feelings; glad they urged me to go home but worried they might need me. Greg and I didn’t do anything special that day, though it felt nice just to relax and watch tv together. Instead of driving back that evening, Lois called at 5pm for telephone tech support style assistance with the closing checklist.
  

Thursday Oct 15: Surviving

 
Thursday October 15, the first day of early voting, was a blur. When Lois and I arrived at 7am, an hour before the polls opened, approximately 50 people were in line to vote. By the time the polls opened, the line had doubled, wrapping around the side of the building and around the corner.
 
Lois and I had been emailed an updated list of workers Wednesday night, divided into an early shift (7:30am – 2pm) and a later shift (1:30pm – 8pm). We did not have a full crew on either shift but enough to open and function. They arrived at 7:30am.
 
After quick introductions we assigned each person a specific task. Lois took charge of the voting room and helped orient each worker while I led the curbside team (the youngest and healthiest women) outside. We walked down 20 steps toward 5 parking spaces reserved specifically for curbside voters. At 7:50am there were 20+ cars lined up waiting to vote curbside. While the women helped the voters inside the first 2 cars I walked down the line of waiting cars to greet voters, thank them for their patience, and organize the line to snake through the parking lot so as not to block traffic on the main road.
 
It was 8:06am by the time I made my way back up the 20 steps to the voting room entrance. The door was still locked and people in line were getting anxious. I apologized to them for the delayed opening and thanked them for their patience, then knocked on the door and asked Lois if she and the workers were ready. She said yes so we opened the door and allowed people to enter slowly, 1 by 1.
 
A delightful, friendly woman named Priscilla greeted voters as they entered and offered each person disposable gloves and a pen. Her table was stocked with supplies: pens, masks, hand sanitizer, disinfecting wipes, and a variety of gloves (medium, large, X-large, latex and powder free). From what I saw and remember, everyone wore masks though a few masks were loose and not covering noses. Some wore face shields instead of masks, and a few wore both. I didn't notice a single person without PPE, not that I can remember. 
 
Our room was set up with 3 registration tables plus 2 help desk stations for Lois and me; 5 laptops total with shared printers. There were only 2 workers comfortable using a computer so 1 registration table remained closed until the afternoon shift workers arrived.
 
The voting booths are intended to accommodate 4 voters each, in a circle, with dividers between like a pie cut into 4 pieces. We were instructed to put closed signs on 2 of the 4 tabletop surfaces for COVID social distancing, forcing us to operate at 50% max capacity.
 
One worker stood near the ballot scanner machine to assist voters casting their ballots, and to collect pens and distribute “I Voted” stickers. We had planned to give every voter a pen to keep but delivery of extra pens was delayed so we collected and sanitized pens for re-use. Also, we were supposed to have a line manager outside and a statistics tabulator person inside to help organize and count paper forms but didn’t fill those positions until later in the day when more workers arrived. Some of the morning shift workers agreed to stay later than scheduled so we were fully staffed for a few hours in the afternoon.
 
The first hour was painful for everyone, voters waiting in line as well as workers trying to learn their jobs and get everything right. By afternoon we were rolling along smoothly. There were some intermittent tech issues, laptops and printers needed to be rebooted a few times throughout the first day, but otherwise no major issues. We rotated quick breaks as we could but no one took longer than 15 minutes.
 
Some early morning voters waited 2 hours to vote. By 10am wait times dropped to 90 minutes. By afternoon we were down to 30 minute wait times, then 15 minutes, then walk ins (no waiting) during the last hour or two.
 
Outside there were more than 30 cars lined up waiting for curbside during peak morning hours, most with 3 or 4 voters inside. A few curbside voters waited long enough to have ballot packets prepared but drove away before actually voting so their ballots were spoiled (cancelled). Curbside activity slowed during afternoon shift.
 
718 people voted at our location Thursday, approximately 150 of them curbside. Polls closed at 7:30pm and a few workers helped us organize and count paper authorization to vote forms before leaving at 8pm. Since Lois and I are both new leads, BOE trainer Danielle assisted us with our first end of day close out. We finished at 9:45pm.
 
I drove home exhausted yet relieved to have survived the first day, physically tired and grimy with sweat. Greg met me at the door with a stiff drink (Jack and Coke) and unpacked my lunch bag for me while I washed my hands and face. In the bathroom mirror I noticed dirt in the crease of my neck and dry, cracked cuticles around my fingernails. Afterward I sat down to rest and tell Greg about my day. Couldn’t relax enough to fall asleep until after midnight, then woke up at 5:30am to do it all over again.
 
Friday, day 2 of early voting, was better though not great. Security was late to unlock our room so I called a phone number I had been given but no answer. Found a call button near the entrance so I pressed it once which emitted a loud noise like a fire alarm. Waited a few seconds and pressed it again, a little longer. Still no response so I pressed it longer, roughly 10 seconds. Finally a sleepy eyed security guard emerged from down the hall.
 
A long line of voters were waiting for us again but our longest wait time was 1 hour 10 minutes, a marked improvement from the day before. Several of the workers agreed to longer shifts so we had enough staff to fill all but 1 position during peak, and to rotate more and longer breaks. I took two 15 minute breaks, first around 11am and another around 3pm. 595 voters cast their ballots with us Friday, 94 curbside. Lois and I were done with close out reporting by 8:45pm, an hour earlier than the night before.
 
Saturday morning I stopped at McDonalds to pick up biscuits and orange juice for the team. While in the drive thru line I received a text from Lois. Local tv morning news host had announced polls would open at 8am though we were planning for a 9am start. Oh shit. It was 7:45am and my heart raced. I sped to work, carried breakfast into our break room and called the tv station as I began turning machines on to get the voting room ready. The woman who answered the phone at WXII apologized for the mistake and said a correction had been announced multiple times to clarify the correct start times in each nearby county. Meanwhile a man waiting outside saw me through the glass door and knocked to get my attention. He was upset, said one of the registration desk workers had kept his driver’s license and he wanted it back. I asked him to please wait a moment so I could investigate. I had my hands full with start-up tasks so I asked Lois to help the man at the door. At first she continued to eat her biscuit and mumbled that we didn’t have his license, which I agreed we probably didn’t since we aren’t allowed to ask for ID unless a person has moved and we need to verify their new address. She did not want to deal with him so I asked her nicely to please help. She still didn’t want to so I asked firmly, less nicely. She finally got up and walked out to assist him. Lois and I work fairly well together as co-leads, complementing one another; her with more experience and me with computer skills. But she has 2 speeds: slow and slightly slower. My patience was wearing thin Saturday morning, very thin.
 
After finishing their biscuits, team members slowly shuffled to their work stations to begin the day. Unfortunately some people didn’t show up as scheduled, and we had no young healthy workers to do curbside voting. The youngest of the crew were obese women who did not want to trudge up and down 20 steps multiple times a day for curbside. I tried to nudge them, begged them, but they wouldn’t budge. I feared that if I pushed them too hard they would quit so I reluctantly agreed to be the curbside attendant if 1 other person would help me by staying at the top of the steps to run papers between me and Lois. Between 9am and 5pm I spent about 7 hours (all but 1 hour) outside managing curbside, and logged nearly 12,000 steps total, most of them up and down the hill between the building and the parking lot.
 
The longest wait time was 30 minutes during early morning, 15 minutes for about an hour, then walk in (no waiting) the rest of the day. 315 people voted at our site Saturday, 45 curbside. Lois and I completed close out by 6:30pm. I called Greg to coordinate dinner plans; he placed a carry out order online from a nearby restaurant and I picked it up on the way home.
 
Though I had expected Saturday to be a better day than Thursday or Friday, it started out worse and ended with me even more exhausted than I can describe. The good news is that those of us who worked together Saturday bonded. Several of them checked in with me periodically and cheered me on as I struggled to repeatedly climb up and down the steps as the day wore on. It was only 20 steps but I felt like Sylvester Stalone climbing massive stairs in an iconic scene from his Rocky movie, only I was slowly limping instead of running like him, and there was no soundtrack music motivating me to keep going. At the bottom of the hill I sometimes leaned against a concrete lamp post to rest like a tired hooker. It was not a good look. Eventually I moved my car closer to the curbside area so I could sit inside and rest a bit when curbside service was slow enough. One worker, an older black woman who I think was initially skeptical of working with a potentially bossy white woman, actually hugged me at the end of the day and told me I was a hard worker. I felt good to have earned her respect. Still, by the end of the day, I was broken both physically and emotionally. My back and legs ached and I sobbed pitifully while driving home, struggling to regain my composure before picking up dinner.
 
After dinner I took 2 Bayer Back and Body aspirin pills, cried a little more as I told Greg about my day, then checked messages. My brother Randy let me know that our 90 year old paternal grandmother died Saturday. She was our last surviving grandparent. It was late by the time I saw his message so I texted him back rather than call. Greg asked me how I felt about her death. I am sad, of course, but glad she died relatively peacefully rather than in pain or due to COVID. I don’t know if there will be a funeral and won’t attend if there is. I loved her very much but already said my goodbyes to her and that side of my family. I am estranged from my father but am considering writing him a letter and sending him a sympathy card. Randy isn’t sure if that would upset him or not so I’m going to think about it a little more. Greg is understanding and supportive, he knows about my strained family relationships. He also cautioned me not to tell people at work that my grandmother died yesterday because they might think I am cold and heartless for continuing to work after her passing instead of taking a break to grieve. I think he is right so I only told a few close friends. Judge me if you must, I don’t have time to explain right now. 
 
I slept ok Saturday night, felt somewhat rested when I woke up Sunday, more or less, good enough. I need to be at work by noon. Polls open 1pm to 5pm Sunday.