Friday Oct 9: So very tired

 

Friday, October 9 I fell asleep around 10pm, woke up at 1am to pee, but couldn’t go back to sleep. I yawned and cried like a tired baby but could not sleep. At 3:30am I sent an email to some of my women friends… 
 
Yesterday afternoon I was offered a promotion to a lead position during early voting which starts next week. I could have turned it down but felt obligated to accept because they wouldn't have asked if they didn't really need someone. All positions were filled but unfortunately a few people backed out last minute so now the coordinator is scrambling to make adjustments. We're running out of time, and people, to cover all the shifts. I don't want to take on any more responsibilities or work any more overtime. But this election is important. Really important. I keep telling myself it's just a few more weeks until election day, less than a full month. Surely I can keep going until then. 
 
It's not going to be fun working 7 days a week, first one to arrive and set up, last one to leave and turn off the lights. I would rather work half shifts, 7 or 8 hours max. That's what I originally signed up for. 
 
I have supervisory experience so I should be able to do this. During my university career I managed multiple projects and teams. Some fall semester start ups were smoother than others, some teams stronger than others.
 
I'm not religious but I'll be praying daily for strength and calm and wisdom to help me through this. Fingers crossed my team mates will be a good crew, that I will rise to this challenge, and that we will work well together. Please God. Amen. 

 
As I prepared to leave work last night, I was asked to work later than usual because we have a backlog of last minute voter registration forms that need to be processed ASAP. I felt guilty for saying no, especially after seeing the disappointed look on Nate’s face. I promised to work extra weekend hours instead, to make it up to him. 
 
Maybe that's why I can't sleep now, because I feel guilty for not working extra late. If I had stayed at work, I would have felt guilty for not spending time with Greg at home. He's understanding and supportive yet I can tell he misses me when I'm gone. I miss him too. 
 
I will be so very glad when election season is over. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep then. 
 
Sorry for whining and complaining. I don't want to be a downer. I'm just so effing tired. 

 
Couple of funny stories to lighten the mood... 
 
Annoying woman in the office, a low information republican, was complaining about Washington DC, specifically about how unsafe it is, full of criminals and murderers, so she had been told by family who live in the DC metro area suburbs. I told her I had been there several times within the past few years, sometimes traveling alone for conferences, and had good experiences, felt safe, and hadn't been murdered, not even once. That shut her up, for a few moments at least.  
 
Brother in law Peter in Raleigh (husband of Greg's sister Tonya) had placed his mail in ballot on kitchen counter and cat attempted to eat it. Apparently the cat likes to eat paper and attacks mail on a regular basis. Anyway, Peter screamed at the cat, "STOP IT, YOU'RE COMMITTING A FELONY!" which distracted the cat enough to prevent ballot carnage. 
 

Happy Friday ya'll. 

Several of my friends replied with kind and supportive emails. Some of them prayed and lit candles and offered to prepare meals. Their positive energy helped sustain me during the darkest moments of election season. Below is my response to them:
 
 
Thank you for all the supportive emails, each and every one. And thank you Toni for offering to cook a meal for us. I am fortunate that Greg enjoys cooking and baking and is keeping us fed while I work. There are also a few nearby restaurants where we order take out when neither of us feels like cooking. Where we live in Pfafftown is a 50 minute drive to Greensboro, quite a long way. You are welcome to visit but I wouldn't want you to drive all this way to drop off food and then drive right back home. 
 
Today (Friday still, right?) I had planned to go in to work early to do data entry before a 9am training class but since I didn't sleep well (napped between 5am and 7am) I opted to take my time getting ready this morning and went straight to the training room instead of my work station. It was a good class, time well spent. Still felt tired though so instead of doing data entry afterward, I decided to take the afternoon off and go home to rest. I called Reid so we could chat (on speaker, hands free) while driving home since we missed our regularly scheduled weekly chat due to my work schedule. He didn't get the job he interviewed for but is otherwise ok. For his birthday Sunday (he'll be 24) he and his girlfriend Lauren are going to the New England regional fair, called the Big E, which is set up as a drive through event this year similar to the Winston Salem Carolina Classic Fair (formerly known as the Dixie Classic Fair) due to COVID. 
 
At home I ate a late lunch, watched a little mindless tv with Greg, and took a nap. For dinner we picked up take out, Shrimp Pad Thai and Pho. I'm going to read over the training materials I received today and try to enjoy the rest of the evening, hopefully go to bed early and sleep through the night, knock wood. 
 
Sometime before Thursday I want to get a hair cut and need to get a flu shot. Will likely go to Walgreens or CVS since I scheduled, rescheduled and canceled flu shot appointments with my doctor multiple times due to changing work and training schedule.  

Saturday I plan to catch up on data entry, working as long as it takes or until my body let's me know it's time to go home. If I get enough done tomorrow then I'll take Sunday off. Otherwise I may do more data entry Sunday. Monday and Wednesday I'm going to try to leave work by 5pm if possible. Tuesday will be a late night due to board meeting ballot review. Then early voting starts Thursday, continuing through October 31st. 

Looking forward to having Sunday, November 1st off to rest. Then Monday 11/2 will be set up for Tuesday election day. Set up hopefully will take only a few hours, maybe 1/2 day if all goes well, knock wood. Then a very long day Tuesday 11/3. 
 
Even if Biden wins the election by a landslide, Trump may refuse to accept the results so we should be prepared emotionally for that possibility. I hope to be able to rest and catch up on sleep during the first few days after election day while lawyers and pundits squabble. I'm told there will be additional post-election audit office work and I may help with that if asked. But mostly I want to rest up if I can. Depending on what happens next, I'm prepared to march locally or in Raleigh or DC or wherever it makes sense for me to be. 
 
For now though, I'm just going to take one day at a time, take care as best I can, and share updates as I am able. Thank you for lighting candles and for your prayers and kind emails. Thank you for sharing your love and energy with me. 
 
Love and virtual hugs to you all, dear friends, from me and from Greg, too.