Happy Mother's Day!

When we’re “back to normal,” i want to open a bed and breakfast only for women suffering from burn out. I’m gonna call it Resting Bitch Place. 

– Mary Annaïse Heglar

Moms, most women in general actually, work hard in a variety of sometimes unnoticed ways without much acknowledgment or appreciation. This is especially true for those caught in the sandwich generation tasked with balancing the care of their children along with aging parents. Toss in a demanding or incompetent or health compromised spouse and the workload increases exponentially. Most full time work at home moms stay plenty busy, despite misconceptions. Women who have careers and jobs in addition to motherhood also are at high risk for burn out. Grandmothers, aunties, bonus moms, step moms, adopted moms, birth moms, friend moms and even estranged moms deserve a moment of peaceful silent reflection today, to honor the impact they have (or had) on our lives.

Me Before Mom: Putting Your Oxygen Mask on First by Bert Anderson is a great read for moms of all ages, encouraging self care without guilt. In addition to a book and journal, Bert also has a blog and podcast.

 

Perhaps my favorite Mother’s Day gift from Reid (until this year) is a podcast he recorded for me about 5 years ago. It is around 7 minutes and mostly fun and silly except the end when he got serious for a moment to thank me for being his mom. 

This year Reid and Lauren recorded a new Mother’s Day podcast. The theme is disaster stories; a series of tales about bad moms and mothers-in-law. When he told me over Zoom that was their creative concept, at first I thought that sounded awful and depressing. But the stories are mostly funny, not sad. And the banter between Reid and Lauren is adorable. If I close my eyes I can almost imagine them here in the room with me. The 2020 podcast is 91 minutes with multiple laugh out loud moments. It came from their hearts but didn’t cost a penny to make or send; the best kind of gift. Priceless!

Mother’s Day headlines:

• Helpful tips to write heartfelt messages inside Mother’s Day cards. 
• Ideas for people who can’t be with their moms on Mother’s Day.
• Mary Anne MacLeod Trump: the mother of President Donald Trump.

In the spirit of sharing softer news and/or silly vibes:

• CBS Sunday Morning: honoring moms, the essential workers of the soul.
• CBS Sunday Morning: Who’s the world’s greatest mom?
• Daily Show: Dutch restaurant serves meals to customers in glass compartments.

  

Daily pandemic update:  

Both China and South Korea reported new spikes in coronavirus cases, with Seoul recording 34 new cases, its biggest single day jump in about a month.  Aljazeera.com timeline

10 May 2020	Cases		Deaths		Recovered
16:51 GMT*	Yesterday	Today	Yesterday	Today	Yesterday	Today
World	4,045,071	4,146,036	277,088	281,957	1,405,049	1,463,003
US	1,325,776	1,352,313	78,762	80,323	223,937	238,848
NY	340,705	343,409	26,585	26,771	56,412	56,566
CT	32,411	32,984	2,874	2,932	65	65
NC	14,360	14,891	544	561	1,808	1,808

In the US, deaths are currently 25% of closed cases; recovered patients are 75%. Worldwide deaths are 16% of closed cases while 2% of active cases are considered serious or critical. 

*Documenting time of day because real time data updates continuously.
Tracking specific states: NY is US epicenter. Son Reid lives in CT. I live in NC. 
Worldometers          Coronainusa          Starsexpress2020

A moment of silence for those we’ve lost to coronavirus, including the first 100 in the US.

In the news:

• 12,000+ Catholic churches applied for PPP loans and 9,000 received aid.
• AI bot Margaret was programmed to analyze Trump speech patterns and lies.
• Charlotte, NC leaders continue preparations for RNC convention in August.
• FDA announced emergency authorization for rapid antigen tests with results in 15 minutes, developed by Quidel Corp. of San Diego.
• John James, rising GOP star in MI, pushed back against Trump in bid for senate.
• Liquor store turf war with restaurants has been sparked in CT during pandemic.
• #MealTeamSix trended after a small group of armed protestors in Raleigh, NC took a lunch break for sandwiches at Subway.
• Metros poised to recover quickly based on Moody analysis include San Jose, CA; Durham, NC; Austin, TX; Seattle, WA; and Minneapolis, MN. 
• NC schools following traditional calendar will begin fall semester August 17.
• Novant is partnering with Tyto to offer virtual health care exams.
• Pulitzer Prize winner Laurie Garrett is one of several Coronavirus Cassandras. Author and self proclaimed psychic Sylvia Browne wrote in 2008 book “End of Days” about pneumonia like illness spreading around the globe in 2020. Snopes refuted 1981 Farmer’s Almanac urban legend.
• Scientists study life-threatening syndrome in children linked to coronavirus. 
• Shopping centers and retailers in NC announced reopening plans. 
• Store face mask policies are becoming partisan issue among shoppers.
• Students suing universities for refunds after classes were moved online.
• Triad Baptist Church in Kernersville offering drive-in Mother’s Day service via car radio broadcast.
• Trump lamented he wished female reporters were more like 1950s tv housewife Donna Reed.
• UN council trying to draft text for global ceasefire has been delayed by US-China feud over WHO. 
• US nursing homes have more coronavirus cases than most countries.
• Venezuela is calling for extradition of US military veteran involved in failed incursion. 
• West Wing White House staff tested positive, now in quarantine. CDC director and FDA commissioner are self quarantining after exposure to infected people. Fauci to begin modified quarantine. Trump and Pence have so far ignored CDC guidance to self quarantine despite exposure risks.

  

Following Kenny Beck’s lead to share a few signs of hope:

• 102 year old woman born during 1918 flu pandemic recovered from COVID-19.
• March for Babies fundraiser event goes virtual due to pandemic.
• MI toddler finally COVID-19 free after spiking 107 degree fever.

In my personal life…

I think I’m approximately 80% Earth Mother with 10% Tiger Mom and 10% Momma Bear mixed in. Reid might disagree with those percentages a bit. He would probably include eccentric in his description of me, among other adjectives. Below are a few photos of us together scanned from his childhood scrapbook.

Thinking about the early years of motherhood and life with husband #1, I remember being happy yet tired. Single parenting posed new and different challenges, followed by the joys and perils of blended family parenting. 

When Reid moved to CT after high school I grieved in my heart and shed many tears. We soon established a weekly call schedule to stay connected. He moved in June and I waited until his birthday in October to visit with Greg and Austin. After Reid showed us around his new home town (Southington), we drove to New Haven, Mystic, and Hartford to see a bit of the state. Greg and Austin flew home early though I arranged to take an extended vacation so Reid and I could explore Boston together. I also invited Reid to tour New England with me but he was not interested so I spent the next five days alone, driving from state to state and across the border into Canada before eventually returning home. It was a wonderful road trip, and the beginning of my empty nest period which I enjoy more than I could have imagined possible. 

This morning I messaged and texted a few of my favorite moms in lieu of sharing hugs. My mom died 5 years ago so I can no longer celebrate Mother’s Day with her. My dad’s second wife Yoshiko, technically my step mom, is a kind and gentle person but unfortunately we are not close because of my estrangement with my dad. Greg’s Aunt Debbie is our family’s stalwart matriarch, loving and supportive and fun to hang out with. Greg’s mom Ealese passed 18 years ago though I have wonderful memories of her. My maternal grandmother Sue passed on more than a decade ago. My paternal grandmother Faye is still alive, age 90. 

Technically I am a grandmother since Austin has a daughter, Alex, with his ex-girlfriend Erin. Due to coronavirus and complicated family dynamics, Greg and I don’t see Alex as often as we would like. We initially bonded with baby Alex when we took care of her intermittently while Erin was hospitalized due to postpartum depression. We love Alex very much and intend to have a closer relationship with her over time, hopefully sooner than later. Austin texted earlier today and called a few minutes ago; we will Facetime a little later this afternoon. 

photo of granddaughter Alex above;
photo of Austin and his girlfriend Leslie below 

The UConn gaming club Minecraft commencement started at noon. Greg and I watched via Twitch as did Harvey and Tamara, Reid's dad and bonus mom in CT. I somehow missed the quintessential graduation money shot when Reid walked across the stage though I copied several screenshots and pasted them into a Powerpoint file for a digital scrapbook. Greg went old school and took a photo of the screen with the camera on his cell phone. 

Reid's gaming avatar is named Wulver. 

Greg and I both were misty eyed watching the student avatars hop around Gampel Pavillion. It reminded me of being in a Green Day mosh pit with Reid a few years ago, a fun and special memory. The commencement speakers were surprisingly inspiring. One of them spoke about militant optimism which resonated with me deeply. 

Between listening to Reid's podcast this morning and watching UConn's Minecraft commencement this afternoon, I've had a busy Mother's Day. That's why I'm later than usual posting to the blog. 

My heart is full and I am truly happy. 💗